Honest Emotions Therapy
Marjorie Oberman Douillard, LMSW
Express, Release, Integrate
Meet Marjorie
I am an American with dual citizenship in France. As your therapist, I can offer you the mastery of over 30 years of practice. I create a safe space of acceptance and deep listening for emotions that have been buried and rejected. Through my approach of Honest Emotions Therapy, your emotions become a profound source of wisdom when you connect to them in your body.
What I Offer
Individual Therapy
Depression and anxiety: often the default diagnosis for everything. Honest Emotions Therapy goes beneath the symptoms to the core of the problem in a short amount of time. It is for people who want a dynamic and proactive course of therapy. It is holistic, including the emotions as a physical experience that lives in the body. What you can feel, you can heal. Both women and men need to express their emotions. But they do so in different ways. Women coming into their power often face emotional issues that hold them back. In Honest Emotions Therapy, we delve into the shame and guilt. Acknowledging regret and resentment allows grief and anger to come to the surface and be released. The emotions are never the problem. It’s the judgments against them that keep you stuck. Full self-expression enables change in many areas of your life. Intimacy with others–including but not limited to sexuality–career direction and advancement, personal and body self-image can blossom in ways you may not have believed possible. For men, emotional expression can require a different kind of vulnerability. “Big boys don’t cry.” Or “don’t express anger as it will lead to violence.” These societal attitudes have suppressed men and made them fearful to allow any emotion. Honest Emotions Therapy frees men to find their way to connect with emotions and take this newfound liberation into all aspects of their lives. WOMEN'S STORIES “As a 28-year-old woman, American ex-pat, I faced daunting challenges of living abroad. I came to Marjorie suffering from depression and anxiety related to my life’s path and my career. I believed I could be so much more advanced if I had stayed in the States. Marjorie helped me find and listen to my deeper truth that started me on this journey abroad, which better suits who I am and what I want. By expressing and releasing my frustration and sadness around my career, the anxiety and depression were greatly relieved. I finally have space to explore my passions alongside work, which was the reason I moved abroad in the first place. I’ll be forever grateful to Marjorie for helping me discover and nurture my inner power and gifts.” –Emma “I originally came to Marjorie because I thought I was going to have to go to a nunnery! I thought that sexual relationships with men were not available to me. By connecting with my body, instead of staying stuck in my head, I saw how I got lost in other people’s lives. I worked on loving myself and, from there, letting someone love me and respect my autonomy. Now I am in a loving relationship that far exceeds what I thought was possible. Now, I can have a relationship and have my own life. Marjorie has helped me to stand up for myself--which has also done wonders for my creativity and my career!” –Sarah MEN'S STORIES “After a long search for a therapist who could help me connect with my emotions, I found Marjorie. Although it’s easier for me to be emotionally vulnerable with a woman, Marjorie helped me realize I need to connect with men. I’ve had many therapists in the past and not one had said this. Marjorie is directive in a really supportive way. She challenged me to recognize what I actually need to face, even when I didn’t want to hear it. Marjorie has a very deep understanding of men. As a man, I felt seen and drawn to reveal what I never revealed in therapy before. Marjorie taught me about the power of vulnerability, and how to be more myself, more confident, and connect with others more deeply. Marjorie goes beyond traditional therapy; she’s an advocate for the people she works with. She’s on my side. Marjorie helped me to become grounded in my emotions and my physicality. She is the first professional with whom I’ve made this emotional-body connection. The emotional release is incredibly powerful. The work with Marjorie has been rich and rewarding.” -Eric “After 5 sessions with Marjorie, I am willing to face the fear and uncertainty of what kind of relationship I can have with a woman I Iove if I’m no longer the savior and the protector. For the first time in therapy, I felt I could deal with my relationships with women through being seen and cared for by a woman who understands men. Marjorie provides more than a safe space for emotional expression. For me it was a refuge from the world where I had to behave a “certain way” as a man.” –Karl
Couples Therapy
A New Approach
Relationship Reset is intensive therapy for couples. Over a period of one month, we work together to restore trust and re-create love and connection. I am bilingual. I work in English and French, enabling intercultural couples to talk to and hear each other. In Relationship Reset, couples who want a dynamic and proactive course of therapy are able to resolve issues that threaten an intimate relationship. You will learn new tools to apply to communication breakdowns and discover a safe way to deal with emotions. I guide you in a non-judgmental approach where each person can speak truthfully and listen to the truth of the other. This way, by freeing up your deepest feelings, you establish greater trust and the safety to express what you thought you couldn't say. The couples intensive is offered over four weeks. Week 1. Both partners come separately for individual two-hour sessions. Week 2. A one-hour couples session online to identify problem areas and set goals for the Relationship Reset. Week 3. A two-hour couples session. When couples are locked into an idea of who the other is, relationships get stuck. We break apart the old patterns and start to build new ones. We experience how to accept and live with differences. Week 4. A two-hour couples session. We build on the learning from week 3, including the homework, to listen and communicate with your partner as you never have before. A dynamic approach to create new pathways and greater trust. COUPLES' STORIES “We had begun to argue much more than usual, tension was extremely high and our patience was running thin. It was very difficult to approach issues because it seemed that there was so much pressure behind them that explosions were inevitable. With Marjorie's expert guidance and great ear for what's beneath the tension, we have now learned to effectively communicate our emotions without blaming the other. Since the reset, conversations that would have likely ended in arguments have ended up bringing us towards greater harmony. Although we were already quite good communicators, this reset has given us invaluable tools to move deeper in trust, love and understanding." –James and Camille The entire therapy with Marjorie took 2 short months; it was all about my relationships. I came to Marjorie because I had a big problem with my mother that was related to my relationship with my boyfriend. He and I come from vastly different cultural backgrounds, and my mother had a very hard time accepting this. Marjorie proposed that my boyfriend and I do a Relationship Reset. This intensive consisted of 5 sessions with a set plan for each session. Usually therapists do not offer such workshops, and I appreciated that there would be an end time to the work. During the Relationship Reset he and I confronted our barriers and learned to deal with our supercharged emotions. We then integrated a method of communication that has helped us with all of our relationships. After the Reset with my future husband, my mother and I did online sessions with Marjorie in which we examined our communication on a deep level; we discovered new ways to talk to each other. My boyfriend and I are now married, and my relationship with my mom is stronger and healthier. Marjorie helped me overcome the stumbling blocks that separated me, my husband and my mom. Thanks to Marjorie’s work and our own determination, I now have healthy and honest relationships, which I never thought were possible for me. I highly recommend Marjorie for any type of relationship issues. Her therapy is quick, straightforward, and very effective.
Therapy for
Study Abroad Students
I have worked for 20 years with American students studying abroad. My short-term approach is well suited for the adjustment issues many students face, including culture shock, loneliness, and disordered eating. Honest Emotions Therapy can help you deal with intercultural challenges so they don’t overwhelm and dominate your semester(s) of study. You can learn to transform disillusionment into unforeseen opportunities for growth to experience the joy of studying abroad. STUDENTS' STORIES "I began therapy with Marjorie in the middle of the semester and had only five sessions but we accomplished so much. Marjorie taught me to make the connection between my mind and my body to find the answers I was searching for. She pushed me in a positive way to go beyond my comfort zone. I came to therapy totally conflicted: I had so much guilt and conflict related to what others wanted for me. I came away knowing what I really wanted and able to make it happen.” -Student, Smith College “My sessions with Marjorie Oberman were crucial in making my semester here a success. When I arrived in France, I was having frequent panic attacks, was worried my host family did not like me, and was too self-conscious and afraid to speak French and to try new things. Marjorie gave me unique "assignments" that allowed us to pinpoint what was triggering my panic attacks, and soon they became less frequent. Marjorie talked me through some of the problems I had with my host family and pointed out cultural differences where I had only seen conflicts. She helped me make lists of simple phrases and actions that I could rely on when I was experiencing social anxiety in the city or in the classroom. Therapy with Marjorie got me out of my room and into Paris.” -Student, University of Minnesota “I came to Marjorie to deal with the stresses of Paris and ended up on an amazing emotional journey that will forever impact my life. Living in another country, especially France, opens up a pandora’s box of emotional triggers. Marjorie gave me the space and support to use the pressures of life in a foreign country to explore the deeper meaning of my whole life, in Paris and at home. Personal struggles can be so much more immediate when studying and living abroad. There is nothing like culture shock to make one re-examine all the emotional baggage one has toted across the ocean. I think what Marjorie provides is invaluable. I am truly grateful for the amazing personal growth I experienced from my sessions with Marjorie. Having someone as wonderful, warm and incredibly talented as Marjorie here for support was an amazing asset and opportunity.” -Student, Humboldt State University “I only had a few sessions with Marjorie, but her work was so effective that in just a short amount of time I felt real changes in my life. I came to Marjorie feeling down, wondering if I was depressed, and frustrated with the battle I was losing against binge eating, against my weight. Marjorie helped me find what was weighing on me, and helped me on to the path to free myself of it. We worked on my body issues, and I feel like I am more at peace with where I am. Most importantly, I now have tools to deal with whatever comes my way. I am standing on my own two feet, and I feel lighter.” -Student, City University of New York
Couples Therapy: Results That Last
An interview one year later
One year ago James and Camille, a married Canadian-French couple, contacted me for couples therapy. They wanted to stop arguing, bickering, and fighting. They signed up for Relationship Reset, a one-month intensive. One year later I interviewed them to see if the intensive “lasted.” Their immediate response was YES! I asked them to tell me more. James: Since doing Relationship Reset, whenever we have an argument, we use the tools to do our own “communication reset.” Camille: It clears everything up. I don’t have any lingering resentment. Marjorie: That's great. Which tools do you use? James: We use the communication method you taught us. Camille is patient with me and we take the time to do the exercise so that I know I’ve been deeply heard. I feel reassured. For so long, I didn’t believe we could solve our disagreements. But now we can. Camille: We stay with it until we get to the source of the upset. Then the conflict is resolved instead of staying angry for days! What a relief! Marjorie: Do you respect each other more now? Camille: Yes, we do. James is always willing to do the exercises we learned during Relationship Reset. Most of the time, he initiates them! It feels great that he’s as committed to the relationship as I am. Marjorie, when we get overheated your couples therapy helps us lower the temperature. James: Before the intensive, all we did was go around in circles about who was right and who was wrong. Our lives felt wild and out of control. The tools we learned help us talk to each other like adults. Marjorie: Tell me how you’ve used the emotional release approach that we practiced during the one-month intensive. James: I was carrying a lot of tension and bad feelings from a past relationship. I didn't know how to let go of all that. But doing the emotional release work in a safe space helped me be present with Camille, the woman I love. Marjorie: Wow, that’s powerful. Were there any other breakthroughs? James: I noticed we would argue right after visiting Camille’s family. The visits were too much and too often for me. It wasn’t that I didn’t like them, which Camille initially thought. But there was a limit to the amount of time I wanted to spend with them. Once we sat down to do a reset we came up with a way to be with Camille's family for the right amount of time for both of us. Camille: Once we got to the source of the problem, we could let go of the resentment. I never thought we could resolve this issue. Now, I feel that nothing can defeat us because we have these tools. James: Yes, the other day, Camille reminded me I used to say, “if that happens I’m outta here!” Now, I say if we ever slip up in a major way, we’ll go back to Marjorie! Marjorie: What would you like to say to other couples about Relationship Reset? Camille: To couples considering Relationship Reset: we liked this approach because it was fast. In one month, we had the tools we could use forever. Couples therapy that goes on for months was NOT FOR ME! James: I know some people need to be in therapy for a longer time. But if you want freedom from the daily conflicts of being a couple, then this new approach is for you. Camille: To other couples who’ve done the intensive: Keep using the tools. You need them for life! And there’s one more thing. This workshop was perfect for who we are. We’re achievers. We want to get things done. We want to reset and get on with our lives and create harmony in our relationship. That’s what we did. Marjorie: Thanks so much, Camille and James. Good luck going forward!
“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.”
Maya Angelou